With arms wide open
by SugarMuffin08
Summary: Betrayal is painful but he learns that he is not alone. There is someone welcoming him with arms wide open to show him that he hasn t lost his ohana. Steve / Cath. Set after the finale.


**A huge thank you to Creed, who´s song "With arms wide open" inspired me to today. It´s short and maybe a bit too much, but I had to write it.**

**Disclaimer: None is mine"**

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><p>Steve climbed the steps to his porch with tired movements. His body showed exhaustion and a bone wrenching devastation that he wouldn´t normally show. But he was alone, no one there to witness his weakness. And he was just so damn tired. The past events were taking its toll on him and he knew that it would take him a long time to put his mask back up that would hide the feelings under the surface.<p>

He was thankful that Danny for once had shut his mouth and kept it shut for the whole drive home. He had only glanced at his partner every now and then, as if he wanted to make sure he was okay. But he knew that Steve wasn´t okay, no matter how many times he said he was. He was broken inside, his trust was broken and his thought that being loyal was one of the most important things in his life.

Feeling empty, betrayed and just so damn fucking tired that nothing made sense right now. It was all a blur, myriades of emotions washing over him and he felt unable to keep them at bay. He had learned that he needed to trust his team. And he did. His team was his back up, his rock in the surf, his ohana. He had never expected that coming home would be anything but painful. Yet the last year had showed him that sometimes little wonders do happen. And he was eternally grateful for that. Without his team, without Danny he would have never made it.

But not even Danny knew to which extent Governor Jameson´s betrayal had crashed his world. And Steve wouldn´t allow Danny to look into the depths of Steve darkest secrets. He blamed himself for not realizing earlier the dirty game Jameson was playing. He knew he was getting soft, letting his guard slip and that there was no one else to blame but himself. He brought himself into that situation and now all he could do was try to find a way out of it.

But not tonight. Tonight he was too tired, too wasted and too raw to do anything else but sleep. Well, maybe shower first. He closed the door behind him and froze.

"Cath?" he whispered, looking at the woman asleep on his sofa. Her slender body was covered with the quilt his mom had made when he was a little boy. Her hands were tugged under her face and she looked so warm and soft and promised forgetting and forgiving.

He stumbled more than walked over to the sofa and crouched down in front of her. When he reached out his hand to gently tug a strand of her long dark hair behind her ear, she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Hello sailor." she whispered, sat up and just wrapped her arms around him, pressing him close to her warm body. She felt him shiver, felt his arms around her like a vice and his face pressed against her neck. Her embrace never faltered and her strength never broke.

After a while she gently pulled him onto the sofa and slid down so she was laying back, pulling him with her. His head rested against her chest and his arms held her tightly while his legs entwined with hers. She felt her heart break for him.

Softly murmuring words of comfort and kissing his head while she held him tightly against her heart, she felt him slowly relax. Every now and then he would tremble but she knew better than to ask him if he was okay, when he was clearly not. He needed to feel someone being close, holding him and for a change being strong for him.

When Danny had called her 4 days ago, letting her know that they needed her help to find the evidence for Wo Fat killing the Governor and that they would have the charges against Steve dropped, she flew to Oahu right away. She was shocked to hear what had happened in the past 10 days. She had been worried when she wasn´t able to get a hold of Steve and just started some investigations of her own, but before she even came up with the story, Danny had called.

So here she was, wrapped up against the man she knew, the man she trusted and the man she adored. He wouldn´t talk, not now, maybe never. But that wasn´t necessary. She had a pretty accurate idea of how he felt. The way he still held her was only one evidence. She had seen the pain and the insecurity in his eyes. She had seen the pain edging on his face. He was thinner, paler and his movements were clearly not as smooth as they used to be.

But she didn´t want to think about what happened, not now. So all she did was holding onto him and letting him know that he wasn´t alone. He´d never be alone.

She saw the sun set and darkness fill the room and still they stayed on the sofa in a tight, warm embrace. She thought he might have fallen asleep, but he wasn´t. He was inhaling her scent deeply. He was craving her warmth and her closeness, her softness to engulf him. He was listening to her heartbeat, counting it, listening to the steady and assuring sound that was the most basic thing but meant the world to him right now.

Finally he lifted his head a little bit and looked down at her. Their eyes met in the darkness that was only lit by a small light from the kitchen. But it didn´t matter, nothing mattered right now. Not tomorrow, not yesterday. For now, he was able to escape reality and just cherish the closeness of Catherine and the comfort she promised.

"I need a shower." he said, surprised how husky and raw and loud his voice sounded in the silent room.

"You´re hungry?" she asked gently, her hand rubbing over the stubbles on his face.

"Not really."

"I´m making dinner. You´ll shower and then you´ll eat." she ordered him and Steve felt the urge to salute. But he knew that she was right, he needed to eat. He couldn´t even remember when he had eaten the last time.

So he nodded and moved up carefully. When he was at the stairs he turned around halfway, his hand holding onto the handle as if his knees would buckle.

"You´re staying?" he asked softly.

"I´m staying." Catherine assured him and watched him turn and move up the stairs. Slowly and still exhausted but his shoulders were straightened, if only a bit.

Carefully Catherine opened up the door to the bedroom and was met by a wall of thick steam coming from the still running shower. She had been worried when he didn´t come down and went to check. When the steam disappeared she made out his figure in the shower. His arms stretched out and hands resting on the tiles, his head bowed and water pouring down on him. His eyes were closed tightly as if he was fighting against whatever demon was following him.

"Steve?" she asked carefully not to startle him. When he didn´t react, not even flinch, she quickly stripped her clothes and moved into the shower with him. She pressed herself against his naked body, wrapping her arms around him and pressing kisses against his back. He froze, his whole body went rigid and she felt him reacting on impulse when he grabbed her and in a quick and smooth movement pulled her in front of him, slammed her into the wall to stare down at her with broken eyes.

Catherine forced herself to stay calm and relax, to not defend herself but to only look at him while she let her whole body melt against him. And finally he blinked and when he looked at her again, she saw that he was seeing her now as well.

"Damn Cath, I could have killed you!" he growled and she smiled gently.

"I know you wouldn´t hurt me." She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, pressing kisses against his neck. And again Steve shivered and pulled her close, holding onto her while the hot water was still pouring down on them. Catherine didn´t care that it was nearly burning her skin, she only wanted to comfort him. And so she did.

They left the shower when the hot water turned cold. Drying off and dressing quickly she went downstairs to set the table. Her back was hurting from the force with which he had slammed her into the wall and she knew that she might have some bruises, but she didn´t care. All that was worth the tiny tuck at his lips when she handed him the towel to dry off.

Steve came down the stairs a few minutes later, dressed in a pair of shorts and a white shirt, his skin red from the hot shower. He looked at her and without a word pulled her close and pressed his lips against her wet curls. Catherine sighed silently, wishing there was something more she could do. But for now all he would allow, all he needed was being close to someone warm and understanding. She was glad that he allowed her to be this close to him.

Dinner was spend in silence and later she handed him a beer and ordered him out to sit on the lanai while she cleaned the kitchen. She joined him later and found him sitting in one of the chairs overlooking the ocean. She looked up at the stars who seemed to be even brighter tonight and she asked for strength. Strength she needed for him, to help him realize that he wasn´t alone. And that things would make sense again.

She sat down in a chair next to him, tugged her legs under and when he looked at her, she toasted him with her bottle. The soft sound when their bottles bumped together seemed to go unheard while the waves crushed on the beach and the wind softly moved the leaves on the trees surrounding the place.

"Look at the stars." she said softly and Steve lifted his head, resting it against the chair to watch the stars. "They are so bright and beautiful tonight. Like diamonds in black velvet. They are unfading, unwavering and even if the clouds hide them, they are still there."

"Like you." he whispered.

"And like your team." she said and Steve´s eyes met hers. She saw the insecurity in them, the turmoil, the fear. Fear of not being able to live up to the promise he made his team to lead them and to protect them. His world has been crashed when someone he thought he could trust, someone he was looking up to, betrayed him in the worst way possible.

Danny had filled Catherine in and she had to fight her own tears knowing that Jameson, who had been not only a boss but also someone Steve respected, had ordered to get Steve´s father killed. Had manipulated the evidence so that Steve became suddenly a convict, for the murder of Laura Hill. This betrayal was personal and Catherine knew it would take a long time for this wound to heal.

"Danny called you?" his voice interrupted her thoughts and she nodded.

"I guess he thought having some NAVY as back up wouldn´t hurt." Steve turned to her.

"I know what you did. Thank you, Cath." he said and she took a sip of her beer to hide the turmoil inside herself. It was true, she had helped Danny to find the evidence they needed to clear Steve off all charges. And she even found a way to help getting Kono out. She´d never tell Steve how she did it and he´d never ask, but they both knew she was the one to tip the scales fast.

Silence fell between them again and they sipped their beers, watching the stars when a bright shooting star lit the night sky. Catherine gasped and instinctively reached her hand out only to find Steve´s hand meeting her halfway. Their fingers entwined and they watched the star making it´s path over the dark night sky until finally dying down in burst of light.

Catherine looked at Steve and her heart reached out to him when she saw a single tear slide down his cheek. She didn´t say a word and she didn´t touch him, but just gently squeezed his hand assuringly.

Catherine went inside and came back with another six-pack. She handed Steve another bottle and smiled brightly when he chuckled "Wanna get me drunk?"

The darkness created intimacy and that helped Steve to relax further against the wooden chair. It had been his father´s chair and he could feel the smooth yet solid wood in his back that felt strangely comforting He heard the sound of the waves washing over the beach and it reminded him of his childhood when his mother had kissed him goodnight and his dad had had read his last story, the window was open so he could hear the waves that would finally lull him into sleep.

He looked up surprised when he saw Catherine stand in front of him, holding out her hand for him to take it. He lifted his eyebrow in question but Catherine only smiled at him and finally he grabbed her hand and left his empty bottle on the lanai when she pulled him down towards the beach. She moved closer and closer to the water and only stopped when Steve felt the water around his ankles. He felt the constant push and pull of the ocean.

The petite woman in front of him stood close to him, looking up at him and he could see the moon slowly climbing higher in the dark sky behind her. She was beautiful. He felt mesmerized, unable to look away. Her dark eyes held his gaze and the smile on her lips was genuine and warm. He felt her grab both of his hands, holding them close to her heart, still her eyes never left his.

"It´s just you and me and the ocean tonight, Steve. Let me help you to carry the weight. Let me be your guiding light tonight and show you, how beautiful and how precious life is. Let me give you this night as a gift." she whispered and she let go of his hands only to pull the shirt over her head. She smiled at him while she pulled his shirt over his head and in a smooth movement his shorts followed.

There they were, two naked bodies lit by the moonlight, standing in the ocean with a million stars above them to guide them. Their hands held onto each other and their bodies were so close they looked like one.

Steve felt peace. And joy. It was weird and maybe Danny would call him crazy, but Catherine knew exactly what he needed. She pulled him with her deeper into the water until it reached to his muscled stomach.

"Turn around." she said and Steve did it, but not before he flashed her a questioning gaze. She ignored it and let instinct take over. She knew that she had to remind him that trust was not always misguided. That he had people in his life he could trust. Danny. Chin. Kono. And herself.

"Trust me." she whispered and Steve nodded.

He felt her hands on his shoulders and realized a split second before she pulled him back, what she intented. He allowed his body to dive into the water and felt her hands under his neck, holding his head safely over the water. He saw her face above him, her warm, beautiful smile while no noise met his ears. It was silent under water and he felt a smile grow on his lips. It was peacefully silent.

They stayed like this for a long time. Steve let Catherine hold him. The silent ocean soothed his inside and the water felt like a gentle caress, comforting him like a baby. Her face was his rock in the surf and the bright stars behind her only added to that image. Unwavering and unfading.

That night he held Catherine close to him in his sleep. He fell asleep with the picture of her face above him, with the stars above her and just peaceful silence surrounding him. He never knew that Catherine stayed awake all night, watching his sleep, guarding him. But he felt safe.

When the next morning came, Steve woke up to the sun tickling his face. He stretched and yawned, feeling strangely comfortable and at ease. And then he remembered Catherine and how much she had given him last night. He turned but found her side of his bed empty. So he quickly threw on his shorts and shirt and stormed downstairs, only to find her preparing breakfast.

"Good Morning, Sleepyhead." she greeted him over her shoulder, her smile lighting up her whole face. Steve only stood there, looking at her and thanking... someone. For this woman in his life.

"You might wanna shower quickly." she said and it was just then that he realized that she was wearing white shorts and a pink top. She looked awfully fresh and he smiled, moved closer to kiss her naked shoulder and pull her back close against his chest for a moment.

"Now hurry, sailor." she said finally and he managed a mock salute before storming up the stairs, her laughter following him.

When he came back downstairs dressed in black shorts and a green shirt, he felt disappointed to not see her in the kitchen. But then he saw a movement out of the corner of his eyes and when the small figure launched itself into his arms, holding him tightly and whispering a teasing "Good morning, Boss." he knew.

He pulled Kono closer, holding her tightly against himself as if he needed to feel her vibrant self. He felt more arms close around him and when Danny and Chin greeted him, while they all were wrapped up in a group hug. And over Kono´s shoulder he met Catherine´s eyes.

She stood in the door to the lanai, the sun dancing in her hair, competing with her smile. She was beautiful. She was his. His guiding light. His guardian angel. She had been there for him. With arms wide open.


End file.
